there is no I in cancer.

there is no “I” in cancer. it’s going to kill us all! cancer, that is, not I. cars, deodorant, my second hand smoke, Martha Stewart and Oprah. probably even the government will gives us cancer.

once I was told that artificial scents will give you kidney failure. masturbation will make you blind. Republicans will make you poor and stay there. side effects stated by, ha-ha, I better not.

bad grammar and spelling will give you cancer. so will hip hop. if you pop a zit on your face and don’t wash it out with acid then you’re not only going to die from cancer and AIDS, you’re also going to have spiders lay eggs up in your face. and they will hatch with millions of rabies babies all over your face.

face it, you’re dead and poor. all of this is true because you read it on the internet. you don’t know me but you trust me. why would I lie to you?

the major drug companies will steal your children if you’re not addicted to their pills, including Flintstones vitamins.

cell phones, laptops, iPods & Pads will give you cancer. so will tampons. condoms too. only Crystal Castles can save us now.

hemp lotion will make you a drugged out lunatic; with cancer. allow your hands to crack from dryness. it’ll also make you lose your faith in God. along with music like Marilyn Manson and N’Sync (I mean Michael Jackson).

your pet cats and birds will kill you. arm pit hairs… dust… cleanliness is next to Godliness. unless you listen to music, that is.