sorry Mom, sorry Buddha

delirious people are all around. people with delusions of grandeur. people with over active paranoia. what is it about or society that makes us so delirious and out of touch with reality? is it a new thing or have humans always been this annoying? of coarse, it doesn’t help most people aren’t honest or say out right what they feel. there’s all these little games and catch ups. mix ups. miss understandings. miss directions. it probably has something to do with our communication skills. or how all of us are terrified to be truthful and honest because honestly honesty can bite you in the ass. how many times have you wished for a foot in the mouth? or wish to stomp your boots all up in someone’s mouth after carelessly opening it? my personal experience is that honesty and talking is an annoyance. like, honesty, did I have to say that and did you really need to know that? fuck, our freedom of speech has crippled us beyond belief. someone just break my jaw and wire it shut. there’s a lot of things I won’t miss with my mouth wired shut. oh, to count the ways. your freedom of speech has gone beyond it’s purpose. shut up America! no more acting, no more singing, no more writing, no more talking talking talking! honestly, I could use the vacation from all this talking and expressing my feelings. give me utter and complete silence. give me total control. give me something worth while, at least. because all of you have said to much. the more you talk and the more I learn the more hideous you are. your breath stinks from all the bullshit you say. and I can barely hear you yacking over the violins.
privacy is so under rated. there’s a difference between privacy and lying. there’s a difference between privacy and saying too much to people that can’t understand. why talk to someone that will never understand what you’re saying? it’s such a waste of time, time, time and time is money, as you know. communication ruins lives.
I think trust was something stronger until people started talking about. now people are always talking about trust trust trust and it’s a mutated monster. a once very simple concept has been torn apart and tagged with all these notes and sub-notes and small print and shit written in invisible ink, stuff between the lines. we all have to have the same version of trust because heaven forbid that a friend or family find out you’re different. you’ll lose all of your credibility. and credibility is very important. these days you have to be loved by everyone, a million friends on Facebook, loved by everyone that someone you know knows and who they know and so on. we have to love everyone but we can’t be good neighbors.
I guess I just don’t belong in modern society. just send me away. see, I don’t need to know everything about everyone I know. I don’t need everyone to like me. I don’t need to worry about what others will think. I can blog whatever my lil’ heart desires, I can say whatever I want and I can trust anyone for no good reason. or I can not trust them for no good reason. my credibility has been shot and I could give a fuck less. the places I’ve been and the things I’ve done equal to a whole lot more than most people twice my age. I’ve experimented in almost everything I dare to show interest. I’m not saying my life is carefree or that I don’t care about respect for others but there’s a time and place for all that. I know the time and I know the place and that’s if I feel like it. I have a very simple trust policy. I have an open mind and heart and realistic expectations to that of other humans. I don’t try to fool myself into believing what everyone has taught me. and not to say that I didn’t used to. of coarse I used to be ’mainstream’ with my emotions and thought process. but I know all the right people and pick the very best parts to learn and live. and experience helps.
and here I’ve said too much again. sorry Mom, sorry Buddha.