The Lesson

the idiot child, that i lived with by the sea, i always told him he'd drown in the great la mer.
but our love was always about power. i guess he'd won but this story isn't about that.
in a lot of ways i was jealous of his seemingly lack of good judgement. i'd imagine his head was made of air, a bobble head, an air device. too bad it wasn't- he wouldn't have drown then.
i don't know how we had gotten to the point where we couldn't stand each other, it seemed to have been over night.
anyways, it was my plan to lead him to the sea. it was only supposed to be a warning. i guess life isn't perfect. now, with a house of memorabilia, i don't know if i could explode or just join him.
it isn't so much grief as it's disappointment and annoyance. we never even tried to be friends. always opposite. and i killed him. well, the sea killed him but you know what i mean.
i never really loved him, just loved the struggle, but you know what i mean. like, i never wanted to hurt him, just prove to him that for once what i said was true. and it was but i didn't want it like this.
you know what i mean?
the lesson, last i'll ever teach.